Laugh Out Loud: 12 Best Jokes About Kids, Animals, Jobs, and Life
A vibrant parrot sits on a desk in a dimly lit room. Source: Amomama
Jan 27, 2025, 05:00 A.M.
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Laughter truly is the best cure, and who doesn't enjoy a funny joke to lift their mood? From children and animals to peculiar moments in life, these 12 jokes will make you smile.
No matter if you're after a quick giggle or a long-lasting laugh, we've got what you need. Sit back, relax, and enjoy this funny collection as diverse as it is entertaining.
Friends giggling over something on a phone | Source: Pexels
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One night, a thief broke into a house. Moving quietly through the living room, a loud voice startled him: "Jesus is watching you!"
Terrified, he froze in place. When everything fell silent, he moved again.
The voice rang out once more, "Jesus is watching you!"
Panicked, the thief looked around and saw a parrot in a cage.
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"Was that you talking?" he asked.
!A burglar with his hands over his head | Source: Pexels A burglar with his hands over his head | Source: Pexels
"Yes," responded the parrot.
Relieved, the thief asked, "What do they call you?"
"Moses," the bird answered.
"Moses? That’s an odd name for a parrot. Who named you that?"
!A bird in a cage | Source: Pexels A bird in a cage | Source: Pexels
The parrot squawked, "The same fool who named the Rottweiler Jesus."
Moses's quick reply is just the start. Get ready for a humorous story that mixes mystery with lots of laughs. Hold your sides as we share this playful tale near the cemetery.
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Two boys sat behind a nut tree near a cemetery fence, dividing a bucket of nuts. The bucket was so full some nuts spilled out and rolled near the fence. The boys didn't notice and kept dividing the contents.
!Nuts lying on grass | Source: Pexels Nuts lying on grass | Source: Pexels
"One for you, one for me," they said repeatedly.
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A third boy biking past heard their voices and thought, "They're dividing souls for Satan and Saint Peter!" Scared, he ran to an older man further down the road. After convincing him, the man limped over to see what was happening.
Looking through the fence, they heard, "One for you, one for me..."
Trembling, the old man whispered, "This is serious!"
!A surprised older man looking through a fence | Source: Midjourney A surprised older man looking through a fence | Source: Midjourney
But just as they prepared to run, the boys finished dividing and said, "Now go get the ones by the fence."
The old man reportedly got back to town five minutes before the boys.
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Those mischievous kids near the cemetery certainly knew how to create laughs. Now, shifting to a family story with a humorous twist, this next joke shows how some relatives can be quite inventive—or not—in tricky situations.
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A man away at a conference in another country received news that his wife had given birth to twins. Excited, he called her and asked, "Who took you to the hospital?"
!A cheerful man talking on his phone | Source: Pexels A cheerful man speaking on his phone | Source: Pexels
"Your brother, Joe," she answered. "And since I was under anesthesia, he also named the babies."
Horrified, he exclaimed, "Joe? That idiot! What did he call them?"
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"We have a girl and a boy. He named the girl Deniece."
"Okay, that’s not too bad. What about the boy?"
!A contemplative man on the phone | Source: Pexels A man thinking while on a call | Source: Pexels
"Joe named him De-nephew."
Joe’s creative naming definitely brought some laughs, but stay tuned for more. Now, let’s follow a farmer trying to communicate with a lawyer through the quirkiest requests.
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A farmer entered a lawyer's office and said, "I want a divorce."
!A farmer in a lawyer's office | Source: Midjourney A farmer at a lawyer's office | Source: Midjourney
The lawyer asked, "What reasons do you have?"
"About 140 acres," the farmer answered.
The lawyer pressed, "Do you hold a grudge?"
"Yeah—that's where I park my tractor."
Finally, the lawyer asked, "Why do you want to split up?"
!A lawyer leaning on his desk, looking frustrated | Source: Pexels A lawyer leaning on his desk, appearing exasperated | Source: Pexels
The farmer sighed, "I never can have a serious talk with her."
His humorous take on communication had us in stitches. Next, we have a story involving a frog with an amusing prophecy that’s guaranteed to get a laugh.
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A frog called a psychic hotline.
!A frog on a table | Source: Pexels A frog on a table | Source: Pexels
He was excited when the psychic said, "Next month, you'll meet a lovely young woman. She’ll be fascinated by you and want to learn everything."
"Where will I find her?" the frog asked eagerly. "At a party? Or walking past my pond?"
The psychic replied, "Not at a party. You'll meet her in her biology class next semester."
!A woman speaking into a headset microphone | Source: Pexels A woman speaking into a headset | Source: Pexels
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And just as you thought, things get more surprising with a wartime confession that’s both funny and shocking. This joke shows how serious moments can turn into comic relief. Let’s see.
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A man in Amsterdam told his priest, "During WWII, I hid a refugee up in my attic."
"That’s not a sin," said the priest. "You helped someone who needed it."
!A priest listening to a confession | Source: Pexels A priest listening to a confession | Source: Pexels
"But I charged him 20 Gulden weekly," the man added.
The priest said, "That’s not ideal, but you still saved his life."
The man sighed deeply. "I can’t tell him the war is over?" he asked.
!A man confessing sins to a priest | Source: Pexels A man confessing | Source: Pexels
That moral problem from WWII certainly had a funny twist. Now, onto a workplace mishap that will make you laugh. Brace yourself.
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Mark arrived at work with two bright red, sore ears.
His coworker asked, "What happened?"
!A man working at a construction site | Source: Pexels A man working outdoors | Source: Pexels
Mark explained, "I was ironing while watching TV. The phone rang, so I answered it... with the hot iron in my hand."
"And the other ear?"
"He called back."
This phone mix-up had us cracking up. Now, a story about an elderly couple in a fast-food place, sharing everything in a funny way.
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An older couple went into a fast-food place and ordered one burger and small fries. They carefully split everything—burger, fries, even the drink.
!A burger and fries on a plate | Source: Pexels A burger and fries | Source: Pexels
A nearby trucker felt sorry and offered to buy her her own meal.
The husband declined politely, saying, "We share everything."
Later, the trucker saw that, while the husband ate, the wife hadn’t touched her food.
Concerned, he asked, "Why aren’t you eating?"
!A trucker in a fast-food restaurant | Source: Midjourney A man in a restaurant | Source: Midjourney
She sharply replied, "I’m waiting for my teeth."
From funny food stories to a bat with a strange adventure, the next joke is sure to amuse you.
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A vampire bat returned to his cave covered in blood. Other bats asked where he got it.
!Bats hanging in a cave | Source: Pexels Bats hanging in a cave | Source: Pexels
He led them through the woods to a tree.
"See that tree?" he asked.
"YES!" they shouted.
"Good," he said, "because I didn’t!"
That nocturnal adventure made this bat famous. Now, for a lighter moment, a flower shop mix-up that’s both funny and awkward.
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A shop owner was delighted to get a bouquet on opening day.
!Flowers with a card | Source: Pexels Bouquet with note | Source: Pexels
But he was confused when the card read: "Deepest Sympathy."
He called the florist about the mistake, and she apologized, saying, "Sorry, your card was sent to the funeral home."
He asked what it said.
!A man holding a note during a call | Source: Pexels A man on a call with a note | Source: Pexels
She said, "Congratulations on your new place."
Even florists have slip-ups, but wait till you hear about a lawyer with a witty name. This joke is all about wordplay and a fitting punchline.
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A lawyer named Strange asked for a tombstone engraved with, "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer."
The stonecutter refused, saying, "Burying two in one grave isn’t allowed. I can put, 'Here lies an honest lawyer.'"
!A man ordering a tombstone | Source: Midjourney Order for a headstone | Source: Midjourney
The lawyer protested, "How will everyone know it’s me?"
He was told, "Just read it. You'll see that it says, 'That’s Strange!'"
Now, let’s finish with a story about conditions so extreme they lead to an unexpected celebration.
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A Texas farmer found himself in hell after death. Surprisingly, the Devil was baffled to see him happy and smiling in the heat.
!A farmer relaxing in Hell | Source: Midjourney In hell, a farmer relaxes | Source: Midjourney
"Why are you so cheerful?" asked the Devil.
The farmer responded, "This feels just like a hot June day when I’m plowing my fields back home."
The Devil, annoyed, raised the temperature to 105°F with humidity. Still, the farmer kept smiling.
Finally, the Devil froze hell over to -10°F.
!Frozen lava | Source: Midjourney Frozen lava in hell | Source: Midjourney
To the Devil’s shock, the farmer started running and shouting happily.
"What are you celebrating now?" asked the Devil.
He yelled, "The Cowboys won the Super Bowl!"
Whether it’s a clever parrot, a stubborn farmer, or a humorous wartime story, these tales are sure to make you smile.
Share these stories with friends, family, or coworkers to spread the laughter. After all, life’s too short not to enjoy a good laugh!
Keep the humor going with these jokes about bars, jobs, and odd animals.
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